Don Marti

Thu 18 Sep 2008 04:42:25 PM PDT

Pirates?

Kevin Hassett of the American Enterprise Institute writes, in a comment on the Apple/France dispute, "foreign governments themselves are the pirates". Typical landlubber, can't tell a frigate from a ship of the line, nor a lawful Letter of Marque from a common pirate.

Have some grog, shipmate, and listen while I show ye the ropes on this here vessel. If a government does it, it be not piracy, 'tis privateering. When ye finish yer grog, visit the ship's library and read the US Constitution, especially Article 1, Section 8. Look up "letters of marque and reprisal", but don't ye miss another part of the same section.

"To establish post offices and post roads;

To promote the progress of science and useful arts, by securing for limited times to authors and inventors the exclusive right to their respective writings and discoveries."

Buried treasure! Ye see, sailor, that "Intellectual Property Clause" is a boon granted ye by the government, just like the road system. There be no "property" here until the government makes it so. Arrr!

No fool of a landlubber would call the government a "pirate" for failing to build a post road, or an interstate highway, to his house. And likewise, Cap'n Jobs can't make us hang Monsieur le Capitaine of that French ship for a pirate. He's within his law, just as we're within ours.

Now, if ye would agitate for war just to protect Cap'n Jobs, take it to Congress. But there be no piracy here.