[linux-elitists] (forw) RIAA Maths with Hilary Rosen!

Rick Moen rick@linuxmafia.com
Mon Dec 16 18:19:36 PST 2002

----- Forwarded message from Tim Norman <stormo@linuxgamers.net> -----

Date: Tue, 17 Dec 2002 11:18:16 +1100
From: Tim Norman <stormo@linuxgamers.net>
Subject: RIAA Maths with Hilary Rosen!
To: luv-talk@luv.asn.au
Organization: The Republic of Desire
X-Mailing-List: luv-talk@luv.asn.au

I wrote this for a forum, but found it amusing enough that I thought I'd 
share it with everyone else here too.


Hi kids! I'm Hilary Rosen, the chief random number generator of the 
Recording Industry Association of America. I'm here to teach you about 
addition, subtraction, and multiplication.

Maths is easy when you remember the four basic letters: R, I, A, A!

Let's do some basic addition!

Example 1: (http://theregister.co.uk/content/6/28574.html)

Jimmy has 156 CD burners that burn at 40x. How many CD burners is that 
equivalent to?


156+RIAA = 421.

See, kids? That was easy, wasn't it! Because Jimmy's burners are faster 
than regular burners, they can output the same amount of CDs as 421 
regular burners.

Now for something more complex!

Example 2: (http://theregister.co.uk/content/6/28588.html)

In 1999, the record companies released 38,900 different titles. In 2001, 
they only released 27,000.

In the same period, actual sales of albums fell by 10.3%. That's right! 
Those nasty internet pirates managed to reduce sales by 10.3%!

How does this work?

If we define S as 'Sales', then the following applies:

(S*23900)-(S*27000)+RIAA = 0

That's right, kids! without that piracy, the difference between the two 
numbers is zero!

That's all today, kids. Remember, kids, MP3s are communism, and 
downloading from the internet is piracy!

Join me tomorrow when I reveal how to make an entire industry disappear 
overnight just by making up some numbers!


I know the logic is somewhat flawed at times, but it's been ages since I 
did maths. Besides, it still makes more sense than the RIAA...


Tim "Hilary Rosen" Norman.

big city kodoku na heart to heart
minna ai no mayoigo
big city namida wa day by day
nemuranai omoi wo yusaburu dake 
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